he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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