We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
