If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
