this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
