Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
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my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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