I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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