just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
