i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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