Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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