i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Send help, water and tortillas.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
