he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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