Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
