Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
