Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
