...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize