# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
