Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
