garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
