I feel like abortions should bother me more
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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