Only a mothe r could love this liver
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
