Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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