So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
