you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I wish there were birth control emojis
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
