so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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