So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i will never coherently bang her
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
