There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Help. Why am I so naked?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
