she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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