Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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