dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
