So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
