i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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