did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I am midnight drunk by noon
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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