i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize