They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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