I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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