I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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