while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
