whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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