Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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