Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
