Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
