Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
