I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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