his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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