Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
