you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
