Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
