Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
