hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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