Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
