yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I deserve this hangover.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
