There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
