I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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