so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
