i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i came on her dog
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
