we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
