There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
