The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
