Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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