Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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